LEAVE THE LASSO and ten-gallon hat at the bedroom door. You don’t need to cosplay as a cowboy to pull off the rider-on-top sex position. Also known as cowgirl and woman-on-top, this tried-and-true move feels so dang good, it’ll have you and your partner saying—or more likely, moaning—yeehaw in no time.
If this is your first rodeo, here’s why this position will make your toes curl in your cowboy boots: It gives the person on top more control, says Joy Berkheimer, PhD, LMFT, a clinical sexologist and licensed marriage and family therapist in Boca Raton, Florida. By adjusting body position, torso angle, rhythm, and speed, they get to customize the depth of penetration and degree of external stimulation, she explains.
That level of control can help stimulate the clitoris during penetrative sex, which roughly 80 percent of vulva-owners need to climax. “The clitoris is the powerhouse of the female orgasm, but—due to the distance between the external clitoris and the vagina—intercourse does not usually create the requisite clitoral stimulation,” says sex therapist Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT, author of She Comes First and So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex.
Most rider-on-top variations, however, allow the partner with a vulva to position their body in a way that increases clitoral stimulation, he says. The result is increased likelihood of both partners reaching climax, as well as achieving simultaneous orgasms, which can feel very satisfying and emotionally connective to all involved.
While rider-on-top positions put the receiving partner (a.k.a. the person being penetrated) in control of their pleasure, they’re “also easier on the insertive partner’s back and muscular structure than other sex positions,” says Kerner. “Plus, it can be visually stimulating.” Depending on the variation, you might be able to take in your partner’s eyes, chest, back, or butt—all which can enhance the overall pleasure of the experience.
All solid reasons to save a horse, ride a cowboy, right? Consider this your guide to leveling up the classic cowgirl position with 17 sexpert-approved variations.
17 Sex Positions for When Your Partner is on Top
At Men’s Health, we aim to describe sexual experiences as inclusively as possible. While the positions on this list have traditionally been associated with penis-in-vagina sex, they can be adapted by couples of all genders and sexual orientations and identities. We encourage readers to modify any position to suit their bodies, preferences, and needs. To avoid making assumptions about gender or anatomy, we use non-gendered language throughout this article. The “giving partner” or “giver” refers to the partner doing the penetrating, whether with a penis, a strap-on, or even fingers. The “receiving partner” or “receiver” refers to the partner being penetrated vaginally or anally.
1. The Original Rider (a.k.a. Cowgirl)
How to: The giver lies on their back. The receiver straddles their waist, sitting on them like they're riding a horse, with their knees and shins pressed to the bed.
Benefits: “Classic cowgirl puts the woman in the driver seat of her own stimulation so that she can massage and stimulate her clitoris in a personalized way,” says Kerner. Leaning forward typically increases pressure along the external clitoral glans, he says, which works wonders for the many, many women who need or prefer clitoral contact for orgasm. Tilting back, on the other hand, increases the potential for G-spot stimulation.
Another benefit? This up-close-and-personal pick works great if the giver's penis is on the smaller side. (For more small penis sex positions, head here.)
Make it hotter: “This position puts the rider on full display,” says Kerner. If the receiver has exhibitionist tendencies, they can lean into that feeling of ~exposure~ and revel in being seen. But if they find this setup super vulnerable, some dirty talk about how sexy they look can go a long way, Kerner says. Alternatively, there are also blindfolds…
2. The Squatter
How to: The setup for The Squatter is quite similar to The Original Rider. Only instead of having their knees pressed into the bed, the receiving partner plants the soles of their feet on the bed on either side of the giving partner’s hips and assumes a squatting position.
Benefits: Squatting opens up your hips, which makes it easier for the penis or dildo to enter deeper into the body. Unlike other deep penetration positions, the receiving partner is in control here, says Carolina Pataky, PhD, LMFT, a sex therapist in Coral Gables, Florida.
Once you get going, however, the giver can grab their partner by the butt and thrust deep. Alternating between who is doing the thrusting gives the receiver time to rest after a bout of bouncing. If/when they need a break, “the rider can place their hands on their partner’s body or a nearby surface for support to help manage fatigue,” Pataky says.
Make it hotter: The Squatter is optimal for bringing in sex toys and pleasure aids. For enhancing clitoral stimulation, Rufus Spann, PhD, sex therapist and founder of Libido Health, suggests bringing in a vibe with a long handle (we like the Magic Wand), which either partner can hold to reach the rider’s clitoris.
3. Reverse Rider (a.k.a. Reverse Cowgirl)
How to: This one's just like the Original Rider, however, instead of the receiving partner facing the giver, they're facing away from them.
Benefits: Reverse Rider offers a pretty different sensory experience than other partner-on-top options, says Berkheimer. “Because there is less face-to-face interaction, this position can feel more exploratory and less performative for some people,” she explains. “The top partner may be able to focus more intently on the internal sensations and rhythm.”
This setup can also give the penetrating partner a hell of a view! Not to mention, it makes it easier for them to reach and engage with other areas of the top partner’s body, such as their booty, back, hips, or thighs, Berkheimer adds.
Make it hotter: “Slowing down in reverse rider really allows the top partner to tune into sensation,” says Berkheimer. Rather than just bopping up and down, the receiverf can experiment with rocking back and forth, moving their hips in a figure eight, and leaning forward or back while squeezing their pelvic floor. Of course, both partners “can also use your hands for additional stimulation,” Berkheimer says.
4. Leaned-Back Reverse Rider
How to: Start in Reverse Rider. From there, the receiving partner leans all the way back, so their back is against the giver's chest and their forearms are resting on the giver's sides. Depending on mobility and comfort, the receiver can either keep their knees bent or plant their feet on the bed, as pictured.
Benefits: “The leaned-back angle creates a completely different type of internal stimulation, often described as more intense or more novel,” says Pataky. This position also allows for more full-body contact, which creates a feeling of connectedness—even without any eye contact, she adds.
Make it hotter: “The key is not forcing the position; it’s building into it,” says Pataky. Trying to jump straight into this setup can unintentionally bend the giving partner’s penis in an awkward angle. So, start by enjoying the classic Reverse Rider. Then, when both partners are comfortable, the receiving partner can slowly lean backwards.
Once comfortably in position, the giving partner can reach around to cup the receiver's breasts or touch their clitoris or penis. If the receiving partner has a vulva, they can also increase their odds of having a clitoral orgasm by squeezing their legs together (around the base of the giver’s shaft) and adding in their fingers or a vibe, says Jessica O’Reilly, PhD, sexologist and co-author of The Ultimate Guide to Seduction and Foreplay. Our pick? A small bullet vibrator like the We-Vibe TouchX.
5. Lazy Rider
How to: The receiver starts in the Original Rider position. Then, they swing one leg at a time around so that both are straight out behind them (on either side of the giving partner’s outstretched legs).
Benefits: This position naturally limits depth of penetration, making it a great option if deeper thrusting tends to feel like too much for the receiver. Instead, it allows for a very unique sort of shallow penetration that can feel really intense and quite unique compared to other forms of stimulation, says Pataky.
Plus, because the receiving partner’s legs stay relatively close together in this position, it can also create more friction, she adds. All that friction can heighten the feeling of fullness, making a slimmer or smaller penis seem larger.
Make it hotter: Instead of just bopping up and down, the receiver can try sliding their body forward and backward along the giving partner. This increases friction against the clitoris and can make the experience more pleasurable overall, says Pataky. From there, the receiving partner can also experiment with the tilt of their pelvis to increase or decrease pressure exactly where they want it.
6. The Crab
How to: The crab is similar to The Squatter, only the receiving partner leans back and supports their weight on their arms.
Benefits: “When you change the angle, you do not just change the sensation, you change the entire experience,” says Pataky. Leaning back shifts the angle of penetration, often increasing stimulation along the front vaginal wall—where the G-spot is located—while simultaneously reducing strain on the legs, she says.
Make it hotter: The vaginal and anal canals are separated by a thin wall, so pressure in one area can enhance sensation in the other. By wearing a butt plug, the receiver will feel more consistent pressure against the front vaginal wall, which can make G-spot stimulation feel even more intense, says Spann. “The giving partner could also enjoy wearing one, as the anal toy will sensate a man's prostate,” he adds.
7. The Lotus
How to: To get into the lotus position, the giver sits down criss-cross applesauce. Then, the receiver sits on top of them, so partners are face-to-face, chest-to-chest. From there, the receiving partner can wrap their legs around the giving partner’s back to increase closeness. The giver can also support the receiver by holding onto their hips or back.
Benefits: This position is less about bouncing than it is about your bond. “It allows the couple to face each other, make eye contact, and kiss, which all support a deeper connection,” says Spann.
Make it hotter: Lotus can require more hip mobility and core strength from the giving partner than most other rider-on-top positions. Sitting on a pillow will elevate your butt and reduce strain on your hips, Spann says, while leaning against a headboard will reduce demand on your midline.
Because movement is more limited in this position, there may be fewer opportunities to create that feel-good friction that leads to orgasm. The fix? Try wearing a vibrating cock ring, like the We-Vibe Pivot, to increase stimulation for you and your partner.
8. Sideways Straddle
How to: The giving partner lies on their back with one knee bent and foot planted on the bed. The receiver faces away and straddles the giver’s bent knee, using it for support as they lower themself onto the penis or dildo.
Benefits: Sideways straddle is a stellar pick for vulva-owning receivers who crave pressure against their clitoris, says Berkheimer. Once in position, the receiver can slide, glide, and grind to combine internal G-spot and external clitoral stimulation, she says, creating a “full-body experience of pleasure.”
Make it hotter: Depending on what the bottom partner finds erogenous, the top partner might reach back to touch their partner’s chest or nipples. Even for men, “nipple stimulation can deepen arousal because it activates similar neural pathways connected to sexual pleasure,” says Berkheimer. Alternatively, leaning forward will make it easier to incorporate some light foot stuff.
9. The Face Sit
How to: The receiver straddles the giver's face for this rider-on-top style oral sex position. Facing one another is ideal for cunnilingus, while facing away will make it easier to incorporate anal play.
Benefits: Hips aren’t the only thing worth straddling—and this position proves it. By sitting on their partner’s face, the receiver gets all sorts of contact on their most nerve-dense spots. “The giver can use their tongue to lick the clitoris in a circular motion or to press into the anus and lick the outer rim,” says Spann.
Make it hotter: Because of the height difference, face-sitting is ideal if the receiving partner likes to be dominant in the bedroom. Lean into that dynamic further with dirty talk, or by incorporating props like blindfolds or restraints (with clear communication and prior consent, of course).
10. Face Off
How to: The giving partner sits on the edge of a bed or in a (sturdy!) chair while the receiving partner straddles them, face-to-face.
Benefits: “Being upright increases full-body contact and makes it easier to maintain eye contact and kiss,” says Pataky. With your faces so close, it also creates the perfect setup for dirty talk.
Make it hotter: Don’t just look at your partner—really look at them. “Research shows that mutual gaze can increase physiological arousal, including changes in heart rate—especially in intimate contexts,” says O’Reilly. “Eye gazing is also associated with enhanced feelings of connection.”
If you’re more used to rear-entry positions like Doggy Style, maintaining that level of eye contact might feel surprisingly intense—and that’s okay. “You can always close your eyes or shift your focus back to physical sensations if the gazing starts to feel like too much,” O’Reilly adds.
11. The Octopus
How to: The giving partner sits on the bed with legs outstretched, leaning back on their hands for support. The receiving partner lies on their back between their partner’s legs, facing them. From here, they can drape their legs over the giver's shoulders and then scoot their hips closer until penetration is comfortable. Trust, it’s not as acrobatic as it looks, especially if both partners have a pillow or two to lean on.
Benefits: Especially for couples in a sex rut, “the novelty of this position alone can help reignite attention and arousal,” says Pataky. On top of that, navigating the unfamiliar position together will require communication, cooperation, and a willingness to be playful, all of which can make you feel closer when all is said and come, she says. Of course, the fact that it’s also great for deep penetration and G-spot stimulation doesn’t hurt either.
Make it hotter: Save this one for a day you’re both feeling a li’l sexy and silly. “Positions like the Octopus are less about perfection and more about play,” says Pataky. “Approach it too rigidly, and it will lose its benefit entirely.” Take your time getting into position, laugh through any awkward moments or angle mishaps, and don’t be afraid to keep adjusting until you find the setup that works for you.
12. The Seated Rider
How to: The giving partner sits with their back against the headboard and their legs outstretched. The receiving partner straddles the giver with their feet planted on either side of their hips.
Benefits: In this seated variation of the Original Rider, the distance between your chests is practically nil. With so much body contact and your faces so close together, this position will naturally feel super intimate. It also spares the giving partner from having to crane their neck to see their boo, which can enhance comfort, says O’Reilly.
Make it hotter: The receiver can bounce up and down on the giver's shaft, or try more of a grinding motion. Meanwhile, the seated partner can enhance play by getting handsy, says O’Reilly. You might layer in nipple stimulation, hair pulling, anal fingering, or even spanking—depending on what you’re both into and want in the moment.
13. Snow Angel
How to: Start in Reverse Rider, with the giver lying on their back and the receiver straddling them, facing away. From here, the receiver can lean their upper body forward until they're resting on their elbows, with their legs stretched back.
Benefits: Getting into this position may take some careful maneuvering, so go slowly. Once you’re set, though, it’s actually a relatively lower lift for the partner on top. They simply rock their body back and forth, almost like they're doing a plank body saw, which creates consistent pressure against the front vaginal wall (where, remember, the G-spot is). As a bonus, the giver gets an awesome view of the receiver's rear end.
Make it hotter: Unsurprisingly, this setup is perfect for incorporating some rear-focused pleasure. If both partners are into it, for example, you can incorporate spanking. Or, you can add in a butt plug, says Spann, which increases the internal feeling of fullness for the receiver. (FYI: It can be a sexy visual for the penetrating partner to see a little jeweled base of a butt plug in their partner’s rear.)
14. The Hot Seat
How to: First, the giver sits on a very sturdy chair. Then, the receiver straddles them, facing away, and lowers themselves onto their partner’s lap. Next, the receiving partner can move up and down or grind back and forth—whatever feels good.
Benefits: “When both partners are upright, there is an increase in skin contact, which can allow sex to feel very present,” says Pataky. This position also distributes the workload more evenly than some other rider-on-top variations. For example, the penetrating partner can press their feet into the ground for extra leverage while thrusting. “Just be sure to choose a sturdy armless chair,” says O’Reilly. Fair!
Make it hotter: With both partners’ hands free, touching additional erogenous zones is a no-brainer. For some above-the-waist action, “nipple stimulation can deepen arousal,” says Berkheimer. Or, if you want to head downtown, “you can add in an external toy designed for clitoral stimulation, which can provide consistent sensation without requiring additional effort,” she adds. If the receiver has a penis, they can try a stroker instead—or the giver can reach around and do the job.
15. The Resting Rider
How to: This is the Original Rider, but with a relaxing twist. Partners start in the standard setup, then the receiver leans forward until their chest meets the giver’s. From here, the top partner stays relatively still while the bottom partner thrusts upward.
Benefits: This variation is a great option when the receiver needs a break, but doesn’t want to take a hard stop. Plus, by bringing your bodies closer together than other partner-on-top positions, the Resting Rider naturally increases intimacy, says Spann. It’s the perfect opportunity to kiss, he adds.
Make it hotter: Rather than treating this as a quick break from rough riding (pun intended!), use this position to explore ways the giver might take on a more-dominant role, says O'Reilly. “You can play with light restraints in this position, such as having the bottom partner holding the top partner’s wrists, or using soft cuffs or sex tape,” she suggests. “You’ll want to discuss this dynamic in advance and continue to check in throughout the experience.”
"If you are a newbie to restraints and bondage, try the Quickie Cuffs," erotic educator and founder of Organic Loven Taylor Sparks previously told Men’s Health. “They're easy to get off and on as they are made of a stretchable silicone.”
16. Side Saddle
How to: The giver lies flat on the back. The receiver climbs on top, turning their body so they’re perpendicular to their partner. Then, the receiving partner lowers into a squat, guiding the penis or toy into their vagina or anus.
Benefits: This deep squat position can allow for a greater feeling of fullness, as the receiving partner can lower themselves more fully onto the penis or toy, says O’Reilly. Once in position, the receiver can squeeze their thighs to increase friction, ultimately intensifying the stimulation for both parties, she adds.
Make it hotter: Side saddle can quickly turn into a full-blown leg day for the squatting partner. Pataky recommends they place their hands on the penetrating partner’s body or a nearby surface for support. The person on the bottom can help keep their partner steady by grabbing their legs or butt, she adds.
17. The Full Nelson
How to: The penetrating partner lies on their back, legs straight. The receiver then lies down on top of the giver, facing away from them, so that they are belly to back. From here, the giving partner threads their arms under the receiving partner’s thighs and lifts slightly to help guide penetration and control the movement.
Benefits: While the receiving partner is technically on top, the Full Nelson positiongives the penetrating partner control over pace and depth. By wrapping their arms around the receiver, they render their partner immobile, which can be a great way to lean into a pre-negotiated power dynamic, says O’Reilly. The angle also tends to be shallower, which can allow for some serious G-spot stimulation.
Make it hotter: With the receiver’s legs lifted and spread, this position creates easy access for adding in some clitoral stimulation with hands or a wand vibrator.
If the consensual exchange of power is your thing, and you’ve communicated beforehand a desire to incorporate elements of Dominance and submission into this position, O’Reilly recommends getting chatty. “Adding verbal via cues, direction, affirmation, threats, teasing, or ‘consequences’ can help reinforce the dynamic,” she says.
Meet the Experts
- Joy Berkheimer, PhD, LMFT, is a clinical sexologist and licensed marriage and family therapist in Boca Raton, Florida.
- Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT, is a sex therapist and author of She Comes First and So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex.
- Carolina Pataky, PhD, LMFT, is a sex therapist in Coral Gables, Florida.
- Rufus Spann, PhD, is a sex therapist and founder of Libido Health in the Washington D.C. and Baltimore area.
- Jessica O’Reilly, PhD, is a sexologist and co-author of The Ultimate Guide to Seduction and Foreplay.
Gabrielle Kassel (she/her) is a sex and fitness journalist committed to helping people feel the best they can in their bodies. In addition to Men’s Health, her work has appeared in publications such as Shape, Cosmopolitan, Well+Good, Health, Self, Women’s Health, Greatist, and more! In her free time, Gabrielle can be found coaching CrossFit, reviewing pleasure products, hiking with her border collie, or recording episodes of the podcast she co-hosts called Bad In Bed. Follow her on Instagram @Gabriellekassel.
